Recently, I completed a course through work called Navigating Change from Within and I’m currently taking Brene Brown’s Living Brave semester online where we just completed reading Daring Greatly. (Note: I highly recommend this book – amazing).
Through these classes, I learned that as I embark on my blogging journey, I had to take a moment to figure the boundaries I wanted to set for myself. I had to take the time to think about what I want to share, what should I share and why am I blogging. Using everything I learned, I have come up with the following boundaries for myself.
Blogging is for me. I’m not attached to whether people read the blog or not. I’m still going to be the same me whether people read the blog or not. If an outcome, response, or lack of response will hurt my feelings then I should not post what I wrote. If my way of being and self-worth is attached to the outcome I get from others then I’m posting for the wrong reasons.
Blogging will be about my life journey and what I learned. I mentioned in my first blog post, I love to write and to bring a story to life. I am doing other creative writing but my blog is not where I’ll be creating fictional stories. I may share a short story here and there but I will be focusing the blog on what I’ve learned on this amazing journey we call life.
Blogging isn’t just another task to complete. Writing isn’t a task. Writing is something I love to do. It is a vocation that gives me joy, relaxes me, and makes me smile. It is not a task for me to check off the list and when it feels like a task that is a sign for me to step away.
I will share stories where I have already worked through my problem or issue. I won’t be using this blog to work through fresh issues, problems or hurts. I have close friends and confidantes that will help me with that and only when I’m ready will I take the time to share what I’ve learned.
I will share experiences that help me grow and move forward. This is about continuously learning and growing. It is not a place to vent or complain. Each post I write will help me reflect, share, learn, and grow. An extra bonus will be if others can also share, learn, and grow through my experiences.
Blogging is not a way to avoid facing my feelings. I have a performer personality. As a performer, I focus on getting the work done and moving to the next task and tend to push aside my feelings. Usually when I’m feeling hurt, disappointment or angry, instead moving through those feelings, I will stop them by doing a task or keeping busy. I am now conscious that I do this, if I find myself escaping to write my blog, I will need to pause and ask myself – what am I feeling? What am I avoiding?
Ask with every post what is your intention? This boundary is the summation of all the boundaries. Because if the answers are: getting people to read the blog, expecting a response, completing a task, avoiding facing a problem or feelings – these are all reasons NOT to do a blog post. If the intention is: to write for joy, growth, learning, reduce stress and just plain have fun – those are all reasons TO write a blog post. Because of this, I will ask every time – what is my intention?
Boundaries set you up for success and help you stay true to who you are. While these boundaries apply to my blogging journey, many also apply to how I should show up in my life every day. That is a post for another day – as I still have work to do on figuring out what are the boundaries I have to help me live a full and authentic life.
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